13 years ago I made one of the best decisions of my life, I married Glory Sterling. I remember telling my youth pastor, “I can't wait to do ministry with her.”
As I look back I smile at the years of student ministry we have done together. Then sadden by how I allowed the slow fade of the go go go of ministry to eat away at the pray pray pray of ministry she was my steady voice. I was faced with the reality of how patient Glory has been through 14 1/2 years of go go go. I think that if the shoe was on the other foot I would not have been so patient. So last year, I said, "I do again!" And I plan on saying it everyday of my life!
So today I salute my wife. Her “grind” and the “position” of ministry she has held hasn’t earned her many “close friends” but the ones she has, she loves hard. I know this first hand because she has loved me hard even when I was VERY unlovable but she has ALWAYS stayed consistent, never checked her brain at the door and spoke hard truth which has gotten her “in trouble.” I’m sad to admit that I didn’t always have her back in times when she needed me because I let the politics of things blind me.
I'm not sure where you may be in relationship with your spouse but if God put you two together just realize that your spouse is NOT your enemy, they are a warring partner. It’s sad that it has taken me this long for it to click, but I refuse to have anything tear me away from my warring partner.
Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.”
-I didn’t make her into a good thing. I FOUND a good thing (the Lord prepared her)!
-I see the favor from the LORD when I feel inadequate and limited she is my earthly help-meet.
Because we allowed God to put back our broken pieces I can say 100% it's a joy being married for 13 years and still doing ministry together. I feel like we’re dating all over again! I love you with every fiber of my body.
Simplicity friendly, child approved
This day on August 23, 1995 my best friend, my dad died. Although I was only 18, I remember him being a gentle, giant with great wisdom, who loved God greatly and loved people with words and actions. I remember little nuggets of life lessons that he would tell me like…
- “Those that don't listen, have to feel.”
- 75% of things in life will be things we don't want to do."
- “You won't speak to my wife like that!!! Do you understand?”
I could go on and on… but this time the thing I recall most was his way of making things seem simple that others complicated. At this point of my life I'm learning more and more about the importance and power of clear GOSPEL conversations and presentations.
For example… have you ever walked out of a service or an event and someone asks you, “What happened today?” and you say something like, “Whoa, it was good…” but you realize that you can't repeat what was said and you think to yourself, “I have no idea what just happened.”
Charles Hodge says this, "The gospel is so simple that small children can understand it, and it is so profound that studies by the wisest theologians will never exhaust its riches."
The Bible sheds light on Jesus being about the preach a clear GOSPEL message. So simple that as he travelled he spoke to all generations of men, women and children. It's even recorded in John 6:1-14 that a boy was willing to give up his food because of a need that was present. I think that in most of our churches today that would be one of the modern day miracles… that young people who listen to this gospel are inspired to meet the needs (physical, emotional and spiritual) of others around them.
This scripture reference provokes two immediate thoughts in me.... The gospel we speak should:
(1) be clearly understood by all generations.
(2) leave the listener saying, “I understood what I just heard and I'm compelled to tell others.”
Please understand that this is NOT JUST FOR THE PASTORS AND “LEADERSHIP LEVEL PEOPLE.” So I encourage every believer…
-Let's communicate a gospel that inspires others to go to PRAYER for others.
-Let's communicate a gospel that inspires others to CARE for others in words and action.
-Let's communicate a gospel that inspires others to SHARE the clear message of the good news of Christ.
This message is simple:
God created us to be with Him. But our sin has gotten in the way of this relationship. We can do good things but it won't outpay the price of sin. God made a way by becoming a man (Jesus) and paid the price for our sin. Everyone who puts their trust in Christ alone for salvation will receive eternal life. That decision will put you you into a relationship with your savior that starts now and lasts forever.
If that makes sense to you for the first time… My question is what's stopping you right now from putting your trust in Christ alone for salvation? If nothing, then right now trust and believe in Christ alone for salvation. Then, I would encourage you to find a local church or a person that you know has a relationship with Christ and continue this process.
If you have any questions message me.
Regret can be a good emotion. If used positively it can provoke the feeling of “I've learned from my mistake and I'm making efforts to not repeat them.” With that being said… I put my faith in Christ at age 6 but I regret not fully reflecting my love for God in words and actions in teenage years while my dad was still alive. This life that I live today is not so my dad would be proud of me but because I've encountered the love of a Father to the fatherless and by receiving his grace through faith I'm compelled to live my life in a way that reflects the change on the inside. For this reason I want to do my best to be like my earthly dad and do my best to communicate a clear message about my Heavenly Father.
Grace and peace!
My friend Tom McCall does a fitness training program and in the last year I've seen it grow into something incredible. But lately it's gotten pretty serious. So serious that his wife Andrea has recently broken some records in lifting. The cool part is that although they are killin’ it as a couple Tom uses his gift to help people in the community reach their fitness goals. But behind the scenes I know they go the extra mile and make exaggerated efforts to make sure people reach their goals.
Have you ever been to the gym and see the people that go ALL OUT and you're like, “Why am I even here? I’ll never be able to get there...” and maybe at that time you just stop and start watching the TV in front of the treadmill OR you just stop going altogether? Or maybe you're the person that goes ALL OUT and walks around knowing it and flexing. Or maybe you're the person who can go ALL OUT and you're willing to help those reach their potential.
I believe God has some incite for us in Luke 18:9-14. “The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector” 9 Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ 13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Here we have two people, very close to each other physically but at the same time very far from each other. In other words we have the proverbial Pharisee “meathead” bragging about his "bench" and thankful that he's not as weak as the one struggling on the "bench” aka the Tax Collector. In verses 11-12 I can imagine seeing the Pharisee flexing and posing in the mirror of his own righteousness and works. Then in verse 13 I can see the Tax Collector struggling on the bench. I then get an image of Christ smiling at the one “struggling on the bench” because he’s a member at “the gym of life” knowing he can't lift life on his own because he needs the Holy Spirit as a spotter. And I see an image of Christ giving the screwface look to the “meathead” saying, “C’mon man, you were there several times. In fact there was a time that you used to need a spotter.”
-Do I even “lift” to where I realize I still need a spotter?
-Do I even notice weights in my life and others that I need to lift in prayer and in action?
-Do I even lift the cares of close friends in prayer and in action?
-Do I even lift the cares of those I come in contact with in prayer and in action?
-Do I even lift the cares of my city and the ones who look, act and behave differently than me in prayer and in action?
-Do I even lift the cares of the world that I live in in prayer and in action?
-Am I looking in the mirror of my own righteousness and looking down at others who are struggling to lift bro?
This type of self reflection will cause us to become slower and speak and quicker to listen.
The moment we put totally put our trust in Christ alone for salvation was the moment we realized we couldn't lift on our own and needed a spotter. Sometimes when we are removed from having community with others in the “gym of life” we forget Luke 18:9-14. We tend to walk through the “gym” of our communities or social media feeds and look down on those who don't lift like us and forget that we need a spotter too.
So you could have the proverbial Pharisee “meat head” approach or come alongside a “Tax Collector” like Tom and Andrea and disciple them through the lifting process.
For the record… Give me a fellowship of tax collectors helping tax collectors who know they can't lift on their own and know they need a spotter… they may not look as “attractive” while staring all day in the mirror of righteousness but they tend to be more humble and helpful.
What's your bench press like?
Since 2011 I’ve been speaking to my high school’s varsity football team of the school I graduated from. Although it didn’t add crazy number into our youth ministry, I saw this need to deposit important life-skills for "on and off the field," and in my free time a team of friends and I filled the need to feed and speak these young men. I had no idea how important the ministry of FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) was until March 2, 2106 during the first week of my sabbatical.
There may be times when you are involved in something and forces are pulling you away but you know that you know you need to keep pursuing it. Little did I know that during my sabbatical that a 10 minute meeting with Scott Myers of FCA Western MD was going to begin to change my life.
I believe that we are giving the ability to be forks. People will want us for our “forky-ness” and then try to break the prongs off us to make us spoons and still require us to perform as forks. I went to Scott because I knew he was a fork, he's been a fork ever since I knew him, he performs as a fork and makes no apologies for being a fork. Most of all he wants others to be their God given “forky abilities.”
This is what he did with me in my 10 minutes with him.
Scott: “Write your name on this napkin.”
Me: I wrote my name with my right hand.
Scott: “Nice, now write it with your other hand.”
Me: I wrote it with my left hand.
Scott: “Nice, I can read both. Why don't you write with your left hand more often?”
Me: “It’s not my strong hand, my whole life I've been left handed.”
Scott: “EXACTLY!!! You've been created to perform a specific tasks, this is your right hand of ministry. But you've allowed yourself and others to make you write the story of your life using your life hand. Although you've learned how to write with your left hand it’s not natural and therefore you'll be frustrated.”
Me: “OH MY GOODNESS!!!”
Scott: “During your sabbatical you need to find your right hand!!!”
My take away was this…
1- If I KNOW my NO I'll have more time to help many more people.
2- Since I enjoy serving it’s OK to do some left handed things but they may need to have a deadline because I have to get back to right handed business.
3- Ask Christ for the ability to regain the prongs of my life so I can rebuild what I allowed life to take away from me.
What are your thoughts on this?
“The Perception of Presence”
I lived a really busy lifestyle, it was go, go, go, go, go... I didn't know how to turn it off!!! It came to the point where I became my kids soccer and basketball coaches because I would have let my “busyness” keep me from going to practices, scrimmages and games. Little did I know that Eli was asking Glory, “Why doesn't Daddy just quit his job because he's never around!” From my perspective I was around, I mean, “I help coach all your sports!!! I could be still on the clock but I work my butt off to 'shift the clock' and that's why I’m not around at times.”
As a dad you may have a really busy work life and make many sacrifices just to “try” to be present but because of our “guy-ness” we act like it's no big deal but on the inside we are STRETCHED!!!
There's a saying that says, “The best present, is presence.” With all my running around and trying to be the best pastor, dad, coach, husband, community member, etc… I think the main problem was that I just needed to be present.
It wasn't until we went away last summer on vacation that I got it. I left my phone back at the place we were staying and my kids were saying “let's go here” and “let's play over there” and I was saying “yes” to all of it. My kids don't want Coach Tyree they want Daddy. I got my presents (the things I did), mixed up with my presence (the time I spent).
I don't know about you but I believe we have this inherent nature (the Bible calls it sin). This nature attempts to cause me to be prideful, to do things that please me and be slow to listen and quick to speak. Through Christ, God has to harness me and pull my reins back so I can see through a different lens.
I ain't gonna lie… I will still help coach but with God's help they will get more DADDY and less coach!
Stay encouraged dad’s! #HappyFathersDay #Dad #life https://www.instagram.com/p/BVffBT2DXYf/
On Saturday, February 27, 2016 I went to a water park with my wife and kids. While they were having a blast I was sitting in a chair on my phone racking my brain over my seemingly never ending ministry to do list. I wasn’t complaining, in fact it became a lifestyle of who I was. I thought that if I didn’t have an active calendar I wasn’t doing ministry correctly.
The next day we received an invitation for my son to join an AAU boys travel basketball league. I was happy but it added another level of stress on me. You see for all effort I was putting into the “grind” of the neverending to do list it balance out financially I didn’t have the ability to pay for his fee. This was tipping point and an eye opening reality for me!!!
The next morning my wife mans up and says, “You need help… Find help… I’ll cover for you… but you need help.” Once again she was right. If I were to sit across the desk from a husband and he were to tell me this exact same scenario I would tell him, “Listen to your wife, stop what you’re doing and get help.
I love the quote that says “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” but now it was my turn to live it out. This began the journey of starting a temporary sabbatical for ministry, finding mentors who could help me with find a balance with my God time, family life, my calling, employment and life itself.
To be continued…
Feedback: How do you step away from the busyness of life?
I’m not exactly sure when this began but I have had this extreme hesitancy to talk in public about the things I do behind the scenes or on front of a stage. As a youth pastor I didn't even promote to my students the music I made or opportunities that I've had.
Have you ever seen people who seem to crave the limelight? Yeah, me too! I think the biggest reason I have had this “extreme hesitancy” is for fear of being seen like that.
I’ve talked to many people that I look up to about this situation and they’ve basically said the same thing, “Tyree you have gifts, talents and abilities that people need to be a part of. Don’t rob them of that experience.” I heard them but as I walked away each time I honestly felt like, “What? Me? If people knew my insecurities and doubts about myself they’d never have confidence in me.” I believe this was the major reason that “I was afraid to LOOK successful.”
I recently went to a church service and this was the outcome of what I wrote by faith: “I was afraid to look successful but now I am successful in Him.” When I see this quote I think three things:
1) "I was afraid”: speaking by faith even though I’m hesitant, afraid, ______ (fill in the blank), I can’t allow that stop me from moving forward.
2) “to look successful”: it’s not a selfish or arrogant success but a “success” that puts me in a position to do good for the group of people that I’ve been called to help. STUDENTS!
3) “but now I am successful in Him”: if I continue to stay in Christ, I believe He will help keep my heart right as “successful opportunities” come my way.
I think we all have a “hesitancy” and need to evaluate why it’s there. Being a person of faith I believe it’s best to filter decisions through the lense of Christ. And because of this I can say with 0% confidence in myself that “I was afraid to look successful but now I am successful in Him.”